Torn

Look at this face....

Let me back up.  I hate wildlife.  All kinds.  I am not really scared of it, just grossed out by it.  Except snakes.  I am deathly afraid of snakes.  When my husband killed this one in the backyard, I didn't go back there for like a month.  

Its actually quite painful for me to post that picture.  Gross.  Anyway, I have never developed feelings for anything that wasn't human.  I don't really know if I can.  I don't really know if I want to.  But lately I have had this feeling.  Gav and I actually went into one of those puppy mill stores the other day.  I just wanted to look around.  It smelled horrendous.  And it was loud.  Both of which come along with dogs, I know.  Some of them were kind of cute.  But none that I would take home.  Gavin, of course, wanted all of them and couldn't understand why I couldn't just "charge it".  We left and talked about it at home with Andrew.  He is not a fan of the idea.  He does, however, LOVE dogs.  He just says its too much work.  But I think if I was really committed, he would cave.  I am scared of the commitment.  What if it is annoying? What if is gets sick? Is it going to keep me up at night? Poop in the house? What if we get one and then I change my mind?  I am so torn.  I just keep thinking that somewhere out there is a tiny perfect, designer, hypoallergenic fluff ball waiting for us. It is almost my birthday.  Maybe I will ask for one.  Or an IPhone.  I know I want an IPhone.
I'm torn.